29 Comments
User's avatar
Nicholas Warren's avatar

This was a short story I wrote for a writing competition a couple months back. I didn't end up winning, but it was a fantastic writing process, an amazing challenge, and I got some great feedback! It was also edited by my dearest friend, a fellow writer, dreamer, and romantic, Luke Griffith. If anyone is wondering, his substack is @theordinaryboy :)

Coral Evermore's avatar

I've been meaning to check out your work for a while now, and man this DID NOT disappoint. I was drawn in immediately by its atmosphere. Very Dracula (which I've almost finished). I also love how the pistol needs blood, that was so fucking cool. I also love all the Gothic references here with Dorian, Dante, and Lenore. And the ending of course was heartbreaking💔

Nicholas Warren's avatar

If you’ve yet to read my new story “The Turning,” it’s a prequel to this one, so you might enjoy it whe you have the time! :)

Coral Evermore's avatar

Oooo alright, awesome, thank you!! I am curious how Lenore was turned👀

Nicholas Warren's avatar

We’re getting there 🤭 I may write that one sometime soon, though I would love to turn this story into a fully-fledged novel.

Nicholas Warren's avatar

I’m glad you got everything I was trying to do with this story! ☺️ it means a lot from you; when I first started on here, I was sent to your page by somebody who said you were a big gothic writer on Substack, and I love your work!

I plan on turning this story into a full novel someday! Glad you liked it!! 🖤

Coral Evermore's avatar

Yes, I loved the names especially!! And thank you so much, I remember that!! I saved this post from back then but haven’t really had time until now to read your work. I look forward to seeing how this story progresses!! :)

Slothful Writer's avatar

I came here to be scared, not to rip my heart out...

This was truly terrifying...so much so that I'm gonna cry now.

You're an amazing storyteller, it was truly compelling! Loved the writing 🤍

Nicholas Warren's avatar

Thank you very much! ☺️🖤

Gregory Blair's avatar

Just discovered this! Marvelous! I'll be in the corner sobbing.

Nicholas Warren's avatar

Glad you love it! I’ve been planning a novel based on the idea and story 😉

Not Exactly Ana's avatar

The moral of the story is everything! Please, keep writing ❤️

Kari's avatar

UGH I love it sm😭 watching you write this and seeing what it turned into just melts my heart!! I’m so proud

Nicholas Warren's avatar

teehee thanks dork :) there’s another one coming within the next few days…

Renae Machuca's avatar

Love this! I love gothic fiction! Subscribing to you! Thanks for sharing

Nicholas Warren's avatar

Why thank you! I do too!

Written by Sofie's avatar

Your story is such a vivid, dark, and emotional journey. I was completely absorbed from start to finish. It’s clear how much heart and imagination you poured into this piece, thank you for sharing it.

Nicholas Warren's avatar

Thank you! I’m very proud of this one :)

James Head's avatar

Nice.

One question, in the line 'He started at the first sight of red in them.' is that meant to be 'He startled at the first sight of red in them.'?

Nicholas Warren's avatar

Nope, but close! The word “started” in this context can also be used similarly to, “he was startled by.” If I had more space during the challenge, I probably would have used a different phrase, but 2000 words is not much.

star's avatar

oh, how I love having my heart ripped out by vampires and their unwitting victims~ thank you for sharing this 🥀🖤

Nicholas Warren's avatar

There's more to come on this one in time! My new story, "The Turning," is a prequel, if you have the time and interest to check it out sometime! :)

star's avatar

I'd love to~🖤

ScriptedGlow✨'s avatar

This is such a heartfelt story. I lovee it.

Not Exactly Ana's avatar

The moral of the story is everything! Please, keep writing ❤️

Maya's avatar

I could not stop reading this and I genuinely don’t like horror because Im a whimp 🤧👏🏾

Nicholas Warren's avatar

Awesome! :) I also sent a less scary one than some others I’ve written, just in case. I know horror isn’t everyone’s poison 🫠

Kushagra Shah's avatar

beautifully written!!

Nicholas Warren's avatar

Why thank you!